Tag Archives: Satire

un proyecto de ley puestos de trabajo

9 Jun

As Charlie Sheen’s former life-coach, I know all about tough jobs. He had such low self-esteem… Anyway, I’d hate to be a cop in Alabama after what their Governor just did:

Gov. Robert Bentley on Thursday signed a tough new illegal immigration law that requires public schools to determine students’ immigration status (we all know how much conservatives hate public school teachers) and makes it a crime to knowingly give an illegal immigrant a ride. Knowingly giving an illegal immigrant a ride is a crime? How do you know what someone knowingly knows? I’d hate to be a cabbie in Alabama too!

 The bill also allows police to arrest anyone suspected of being an illegal immigrant if they’re stopped for any other reason. Wonder what criteria are supposed to be used to determine “suspectability”… Anyone who employs more than five people is now required to use a federal system called E-Verify to determine if new workers are in the country legally. Even if it’s a small family business and your daughter wants a job – you better check her out, or else!

You know what’s the most amazing thing about this steaming pile of racist you-know-what? Gov. Bentley calls it a “jobs” bill…

And the Winner Is…

7 Jun

Everyone knows I inherited the family fortune. (A distant relative of mine invented the tablespoon.) So I understand how hard it’s been for Mitt Romney, whose daddy was both rich and powerful. Recent polls show the former Governor beating Barack Obama head-to-head. Hell, I’d even consider voting for a guy who gave universal healthcare to his state and supports women’s rights.

Romney has played it perfectly so far, by not talking very much. His strategy is brilliant: Let Gingrich implode on Meet the Press, let Pawlenty screw up a softball question about abortion, and let Sarah Palin, well, be Sarah Palin.

Of course, the election is still a long way’s off, but these numbers are significant. Just like four years ago, when Hillary Clinton held an insurmountable lead over Rudy Giuliani…

Liar, Liar

7 Jun

As founder of the most popular hip-hop jazz fusion group in the world, I’ve always had a keen sense of what’s happening. I was the first person to predict Barack Obama would become President – way back when he was a community organizer on the South Side. As a matter of fact, I’ve never been wrong. Until now.

I believed Anthony Weiner when he said his Twitter account was hacked and that he wasn’t the one who sent that infamous crotch-shot to a hottie in Seattle. I mean, the dude went on every news show on every network and proclaimed his innocence – he was the victim!

Turns out we were the victims.

All he had to do was get out in front of the story and tell the truth; in all “certitude”. But, no. He lied. Now he joins the long list of democrats who’ve been caught up in a web of deception. John Edwards being the most evil one on that list that I can think of at the moment.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a democrat. I stand with the party on the issues. But I won’t blindly defend those who commit indefensible acts.